FlaSh FoRwArD - If you could find out your future would you want to know it?

Inbetween boughts of Mojitos and Pornstar Martinis this philosophical question popped out!!

If you could find out your future would you want to know it? 

Against...I don't want to know when I am going to die!

               Life should be full of unpredictability!     

For...if you knew you were going to die you could plan for it better etc..

        you could change your future?

Flash Forward - New Programme on TV

When a mysterious event causes the entire world to black out, humanity is given a glimpse into its near future, and every man, woman and child is forced to come to grips with whether their destinies can be avoided or fulfilled.

New WoRds aNd PhRaSeS - THE G DICKTIONARY 4

The G DickTionary

Mullet Off - This is when two men or women with the infamous Mullet haircut engage in a bout of Mullet tugging!! Before the bout begins they look each other in the eye and grab each side of their opponents hair, approximately just where the hair starts to flare out at the back of the ear. With a countdown the tugging may commence...the victor is the one who loses the least amount of hair and blood in a 10 minute bout.

Mullet-off Cocktail - This is a group bout of upto 5 on either side. Same rules apply except that the sexes can fight the opposite sex..ie. man v woman. This can be used to sort out divorces and other important family disputes like constantly farting under the duvet and stuff.

Always remember Mullet fans It's business at the front and party at the back for a reason..be safe!

Rigsby's Replacements - this is when your landlord eats and drinks your food and alcohol and replaces them with something completely different although nearly the same!!! lol  ;-D

Seagulls(seagals)  -  Named after the famous actor Steven Seagal. Seagals can be found in the conibation of West Bridgford In Nottingham and usual congregate on Thursday, Fridays and Saturday nights. They can be spotted by their identical plummage of being overweight, slick back hair, T-shirt too small for their rotund bellies and general orangy flesh coloured tones. They can be identified by this appearence no matter what the season is. They are brash creatures and continually bleet about how much they have or appear to have..what one could call a 'ten bob millionaire'. They habitually mate with Blonde haired 'Julie's' who are identical in appearence except that they have lady cocks and fake tits!!! They breed unfortunately and worship the church of Simon Cowell and Katie Price... Avoid at all costs..

LaugHiNg InaPpropriatEly!

I have noticed recently that I have been laughing inappropriately!

Not really a recent trend but more or less a life long trend. How can I stop this?

I usually wait until the quietest possible moment in a film and then laugh at something that no one else is laughing at!! eg. Laughing at funeral sex, laughing when somebody shouted out ' that is where spastics and retards go' Laughing at people being scalped or beaten to death!!! Laughing when a pet gets killed!!

I am going to the cinema tonight to watch 500 Days of Summer I think?

It is a Romantic Comedy of sorts?

What should I do?

Not laugh and look miserable?

Laugh, but only when everyone else does first?

Don't laugh when they break up?

Laugh into my hands to dull the sound?

If I feel like laughing have a quick snog and look away?

Or just not give a fook?

Only one answer really !!!

;-Dx

Steven Seagal and mCgIVER aka Seagull and Muffdiver

Every so often you can find yourself in a little scrape...

Confronted by a group of say 10 men in the pub you think shit I'm done for here!! Aha, not when your best mates are the 'Seagull' and 'Muffdiver',because you know exactly how it will go.

The Seagull will be strapped in tight in his 3/4 length leather jacket beating the living shit out of all ten. While murcky Muffdiver will be plotting an escape route out of the roof  with a jetpack made of Beer mats and pork scratchings! While you finish your nice cold ice cold beer. Result..  :-Dx

New WoRds aNd PhRaSeS - THE G DICKTIONARY 3

The G Dicktionary

Pistolas - We all know that fingering is a bit of a childish word! So, when we become adults with jobs and responsibilities we need to use a new word that means the same because, lets face it, it's rather fun. eg. 'I pistoled her good', 'She loves a good pistoling' At the same time it is recommended that you make a little gun mime with your hand. This is very adult like as you can pretend you are playing Cowboys and Indians without anyone knowing. If you are feeling adventurous there are many variations 'the pistolla bang' or 'double barelled pistolas' this requires double gun mime!(double the fun) You be careful with your 'cocked pistolas' they are lethal weapons my mum told me, they will get you into trouble one day! How right she was.

Knub - Do you know if the person you are looking at is a man or a woman? Whether the person has a Knob or a Lady Cock? A very confusing area at the moment with Lady Gaga and all!! Knub, sums up that grey area perfectly. I think I need to feel her Knub to know for sure? I prefer the Crocodile Dundee method of Knubbing just to be sure when I go out on the town and I have had a few cheeky drinks!!! aggressive knubbing - he/she knubbed me good!I kicked him in the knub! You can 'romance the knub' to a hit single from Barry White. Knub friendly but to the point!

Dogstar - I bet your thinking of that crap band that one from Busted is in now? No, Back to the Dogstar is a lyric from that fine wordsmith Mr Mike Skinner who is from the Street, Man! 'All back to the Dogstar' means back to the local for a late drink. Rah Rah to get a Marlon from the bar. Preferably a drink and not a dead actor. Charlie from Busted has a Knub I believe?

Window Lickers - This is a system that Students and Staff have developed over the years. A bit like visual morse code... One lick on the window means hello, two licks means I fancy you, three licks means fook off!!! To get the desired effect you need to place both hands on the window with your face inbetween them flush to the window and lick away. Make sure you smear the window when you do this for prosterity purposes. Why talk to other people when you can window lick to your hearts content. Especially effective in a car,minibus or high speed train.

Licking the Stamp - A phrase for when one likes to partake in sex of the oral variety with a lady. This was developed when I was at university where I had a friend who would only do oral sex on the females he met? Why I am not sure? We nicknamed him 'stamp' which we did with a rediculous tongue action when we said it!!! We also liked to repeat the word stamp about 20 times for a better effect' stamp stamp stamp stamp etc.. until he cried. We did this on one flight to Kavos none stop for 4 hours to great general amusement to our group! Everyone else on the plane thought we were mental!! happy days!! Matt eventually hung himself with a stamp attached to his forehead. :-D

Mumford & Sons - King Charles@ Sheffield Plug

I love a train journey!!! with a gig at the end it is like my perfect night/day out!!!

Sheffield Plug - The last time I went to this venue was to see the Prodigy - secret gig - fooking amazing!! So I had high expectations.

King Charles - Surprisingly good with such a shit name. I will only say that the dude has the most amazing hair!!! Lion man esq!! Watch this band - lots of potential, intriguing sound!!

Mumford & Sons -After such good support how good would they be? Fooking Rocking!! Sometimes hyped bands crash and burn but you can feel that these love just playing music. The atmosphere was electric, good banter with the crowd, beautiful tunes..I think that 'Blank White Page' is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard!! live it was just intense and something I will remember for a long time!! 'Little Lion Man' had the crowd jumping up and down... Believe the hype is all I can say! The album comes out on Rocktober the 5th and you would be a fool not to buy it! See this band now before they get massive or then again maybe wait for another 20 years and see them in a pub as they are the type of band you feel will be playing for fun because they love music. A 9 out of 10 night ..Rocktober beckons and I hope some of the gigs are as good as this. You will probably dance like a fool to this at some point this year!!!

'but it was not your fault but mine

and it was your heart on the line
i really fucked it up this time
didn't I, my dear?

Good call Stevie....I was Stellafied and fell asleep on the train home..RESULT :-D

New WoRds aNd PhRaSeS - THE G DICKTIONARY 2

The G Dicktionary

Eurovision - this is a catchphrase for when one is trying to attract a lady from the continent...eg. tonight I'm going eurovision... If unsuccessful it is known as 'nil point' or doing a Terry Wogan!

Stellafied - A recent hit pop tune by the Mancunian monkey man Sir Ian Brown has been adapted to mean you are totally wankered on Stella! eg. Fook I'm Stellafied....The nastiest lager known to the human race but it's also quite nice? One of life's great puzzles?

Rapper replacement - this is the art of replacing everyday words with rappers names...eg. Coolio - just means 'cool'. Vanilla Ice means 'nice'. J Zee means you lazy cunt. ie. Your such a J Zee cunt!! This has limitations though as rappers tend to be named Dave?

Shootle poops - this is a phrase that means you are going somewhere eventually! but it might take a while and you might meander via a pub etc...but you will gt there eventually!! what might also be described as being a bit of a 'gayer' reference!

Gayer - a positive way of saying you are acting like a mincing girl. eg. you are such a 'gayer'. This can be used in many hilarious situations and has been known to diffuse many a hostile happening or event. Clinton to Yeltsin...Boris you drink like a gayer! Yeltsin to Clinton...no worries mate I'd rather be a gayer than let your wife suck my cock again. Three bottles of fine vodka later Bill was asleep and Hilary was smiling!! Bill you would say acted like a 'gayer'!!!! True Story ;-D

New WoRds aNd PhRaSeS - THE G DICKTIONARY

The G Dicktionary

Clunter - an amalgamation of the words Clunge and Hunter... eg. my mate Hadyn is a clunter tonight. This means that tonight he is looking to meet some fine ladies.

Brumstroker - this is someone who originates from Birmngham who like to stroke ladies bottoms with the nickname of  Dracula.

Mug Full - this phrase relates to the fact that as an adult man it is healthy to empty your ballbags on a regular basis. This roughly equates to a mug full in a month. Any less than this and you are likely to be what is known as 'Backed up'. You can often hear men discussing this over a social drink. 'I have had a mug full this month' or 'I'm backed up, it's nearly the end of the month and I've only filled a third of a mug.

Milked - the art of being treated like a cow until a milk like substance is extracted from the end of the penis.
eg. she milked me off last night. I like to be milked in the morning.

RoCkToBeR

Rocktober has officially begun!! albeit a few days early!!!

Gigs lined up....

last night Mumford & Sons with support  from King Charles

Sunday 27th of September - The Temper Trap

Monday 28th - Bombay Bicycle Club

Friday 2nd - The Wild Beasts

Saturday 3rd - The Cribs

Monday 5th - The Maccabees

Wednesday 7th - The XX's

Thursday 15th - Answering Machine

Friday 16th - John Cooper Clarke

Thursday 22nd - Danananananackroyd

Saturday 24th - Twilight Sad

Thursday 29th - Delphic

Saturday 31st - Maps

OOOOOOOoooooooHHHHHHhhhhhhhh Happy Days!!!! :-D

DoeS a CaRdIgAn mAkE yOu a BuMdEr?

I have resisited buying a 'trendy' new cardigan until now! When I was young, old people wore cardigans but I thought fook it. It is grey with different coloured buttons!! However, does this mean I am now a Bumder? ;-Dx

RaNdoM StuFF FrOm ThE CLassRooM

It has been a good week in the old classroom!! Never a bad thing when you can play a bit of NWA in a lesson!! Teaching probably my favourite module on the Foundation Degree - Social Issues in Sport.

We covered Racism this week. Played some Eminem first, then NWA, to start a discussion on Stereotypes.

Makes you realise how powerful rap can be. How good it used to be, unlike most rap these days!!!

We also had the funniest discussion on Caster Semenya, (the South African runner)  my favourite quote being

" I don't see all the fuss about tests...just pull his pants down and you will see his cock, end of argument!"

On a different note, I teach some low level English groups and it can be quite an eye opener. At the start of the year I always do an exercise called 'pieces of me' where the students identify 10 things about themselves. fave music, fave food, fave holiday etc...bare in mind these students are 16, I had one say he had never been on holiday in his life! You could tell he wasn't making it up. I also had a couple of students who said that they couldn't read at 16...v v sad indeed. All in a weeks work!!!!!

FiShTaNk

Fish Tank

The main synopsis of the film is 'At the centre of the story is newcomer Katie Jarvis, playing Mia, a tricky, lairy 15-year-old in trouble with the social services for breaking a girl's nose after a contretemps in one of the windswept municipal canyons lying between tower blocks. She has inherited from her mum, played by Kierston Wareing, a stroppy insecurity and a nascent fondness for the booze. The family dog is actually called Tennent's. Mia has a feisty younger sister, Tyler – a scene-stealer of a performance from Rebecca Griffiths – who is always winding Mia up with shrill threats to "tell on her". There is no dad in the picture. Mia has just one interest in life: urban dance, and she isn't too bad, but the moves she practises are moody, introverted and subdued, rather like the dancer herself.

The film starts with Mia having fallen out with her friends. This leads to a confrontation with the group were she headbutts one of them. From then on Mia just confronts everyone and everything she is faced with in her shitty life. The best thing about the film is that it is not totally negative and you feel that although Mia's life is far from pleasent she never gives up hope of something better. There are some horrendous moments in the film but they are balanced out with humour. The film will have you laughing, shocked, saddened and just hoping that there aren't too many real Mia's out there in the real world facing what she has to face on a daily basis. Even though you know there probably are :-(

The film has everything, humour, love, sadness, hope and absolutely amazing dialogue, visuals and sound. I was hooked from the start and the two hours flew bye!! The film is being compared to 'Kes' and 'This is England,' which it is definitely worthy of. I love well made British films and this certainly is one of them

9 out of 10 go see it!!! ;-Dx

ReD BooTs :-Dx

It's a R.E.D. day today!!!

I love my red boots!!!

They look coolio with my red tie - black suit combo!!!

The students think I am a bit mental so behave in class - result!!!

Going to go out on a date tonight with them on!!

They make me smile :-Dxx

NoaM ChOmsKy

Being totally disillusioned with politicians and politics in general I have been reading alot of stuff by Noam Chomsky. I highly recommend it. I have just finished reading 'What We Say Goes' and 'Hegemony or Survival'. One f the most interesting concepts is that the United States is a leading outlaw state, totally unconstrained by international law, and it openly says so. What we say goes. The United States invaded Iraq, even though that was a radical violation of the United Nations Charter. That the United States should be an outlaw state that chooses to use violence when it wants to, no matter what happens. 'If we hit the wrong people' we might say, 'Sorry, we hit the wrong people.' But there should be no limits on the right of the United States to use force. The fact that the United States accuses enemies of violating international law and it being a huge outrage but when the United States does something, it's as if it didn't happen....

I love this quote, 'I never was aware of any other question but to question everything' :-D

ThE GreeN MaN

The Green Man is off to party for the Weekend.

Mojito, Music and a Boogie!!!! :-Dx

The dAy I got AcCuSEd of Armed RobbEry By ThE FiLtH

I had forgotten all about this tale...until in a drunken stupor it came to the forefront of my mind!

Many moons ago,I used to be a Deputy Manager for the Co-op..fun days!!

Myself and my manager would do alternate Saturday morning-evening shifts. This mean't that one of us would start at 7am and finish at 2pm the other would start at 2pm and finish at 9.30pm etc...

It was Valentines night on the Friday and I was on a late on the Saturday. Went for a meal, then onto a club and stopped over at my girlfriend's house Friday night. Woke up Saturday morning, had a lie in etc...because I didn't need to be in work until 2pm. Never thought anything about it. Drove home to my house at mid day to find my mother all in a panic..The Police had been to the house, asking where I was and had searched through my wardrobe etc.. My mother in her wisdom had said she wasn't sure where I had been all night but that she hadn't seen me since Friday morning!! Cheers mum!! You have to remember this was in the days before mobile phones!

Anyway, rang work to find out that in the morning a masked man had put a gun to my bosses head and made him empty the safe of money etc..He didn't really say much but said that the police wanted a quicik chat with me when I came to work. Ok, he was being a little odd..I just thought he was probably shook up. Went to work, been there about 10 mins when the police turned up. They asked me to go to the office as they wanted a quick chat... Here is where it gets funny.. I can honestly say that it was like something you see on the TV..bare in mind I was hungover.. Cop1...Hi how are you? Cop 2 just grunting  Cop1 Where were you this morning? Cop2 You fucking did it didn't ya!!! literally 2 inches from the side of my face!! I couldn't actually take this in...They were actually accusing me of robbing my own shop!! This went on for what seemed ages..GOOD COP - BAD COP -GOOD COP-BAD COP ... In the end I started getting a bit pissed off and started being sarcastic with bad cop...not a good move..He then wanted to look in my car..Obviously to find my Baliclava..for some crazy reason I had a batman t-shirt in there??? Anyway, I obviously hadn't done it but I then went to have a chat with my boss to ask him what was going on? He then explained how they had try to convince him it was me..the right height, I would know he was on his own etc...the reason he knew it wasn't me... The knobhead who did it only took the bags of money from the safe...about 3 grand. The 25k on the desk in metal safe tubes he didn't touch..My boss told the police that if it had been me I would have known that the money was in the tubes and taken the lot!!!! cheers boss!!! Innocent by the fact I didn't steal all the money!!!

The whole incident really pissed me off and I realised I had to get another career sorted as soon as possible. However, it wasn't until later that night in the pub that the whole event sunk in,  it could have been me with a gun put to my head!!! No job is worth that... As for the police..mmm?

Now I lecture for a living... love it!!! ;-Dx

WoRk BooTS 2

Feeling coolio!!!

Nice green Bright green work boots!!!

With a matching t-shirt too!!!

I want to be sat in TILT drinking Mojitos...

W.E.E.K.E.N.D.E.R. :-Dx

Mojitos - HoW tO mAkE ;-Dx

Mojitos - MMmmmmMM - Mojitos

Put the sugar in the bottom of a glass and pour the citrus juice over to just cover it. Add 2 long sprigs of mint. Muddle (gently pound) the juice, sugar and mint.

Add ice to the top of the glass, fill the glass two-thirds full with soda water.

Add the rum.

Stir and add a dash of Angostura bitters.

Top with slices of lime.

History of the cocktail

Rum was available as a medicinal 'tot' to slaves working on sugar plantations in Cuba - they used it as a pick-me-up by adding mint, water and sugar cane to take the edge off. Mojito literally means 'something a little wet'.

NeW wOrK BooTs

New Work Boots!!!!! Mwah mwah

They are a bit brighter than I expected!! But match the tie....

Reactions have been amusing to say the least!! :-Dx

NottingHaM MaRATHON ReLay - Everyman Charity

Numbers!!

The Marathon relay went really well!! We won!! 2hrs 41

After alot of driving around and organising on the day everything went smoothly!!

Chris 32 mins

Me    31 mins

Junior 36 mins

Stuart  32 mins

Keith   40 mins

It's always fun running as part of a team. My actual time was 30.51, which I was well chuffed with considering I had two big climbs through Nottingham University and Clumber Park. Sub 6 minute mile pace is good considering the little training I do and the four pints on Saturday night!!! ;-D

We all won a years free membership to Hoofers gym in Nottingham and we should raise over £500 for the Everyman charity. All in all a great day and team effort. :-D

I nearly forgot we won the team prize for the Mansfield 5k as well. Myself, Matt and Junior!!!

AgAiN

Again

Thank you

For making me feel love again

The beat of my heart again

The blood rushing

Through my veins again

All the special memories

With you in them

The lunch time walks

The laughter and the silly jokes

How cute you look in the morning

When you are half asleep and yawning

Staying in bed all day watching TV

With you wrapped around me

The kiss of your lips

Your hips against my hips

Holding each other on park benches

In the rain

Sitting in fields and graveyards

A little crazy and insane

Your frienship and tenderness

The taste of oysters and champagne

We have made such a mess of things

So many stupid mistakes

That is why all this is so hard to take

The heartache

The knowledge

That I will never share

These amazing experiences

And feelings

With you again

GordX

EvOluTion - MoNkEy BuSinEss

Watching the original Planet of the Apes 1968 version ( not the shit remake) has got me thinking!

In the 150 years since Charles Darwin popularised the idea of evolution, fossil hunters have identified between a dozen and 20 species of hominid, which have been grouped into five families.The journey from the last common ancestor of chimps and humans resembles a voyage through a maze, full of paths that look promising but turn out to be dead-ends, or paths that separate only to perhaps merge again later. The dozen or so known hominids are scattered throughout the maze.

So what's the story so far? A common ancestor of chimps, gorillas and humans probably lived eight or nine million years ago. Gorillas went their own separate way, followed by chimps - mankind's closest living relatives. The split with chimps used to be thought to have taken place about five million years ago, new findings may push this back to six million years ago.

"Early hominid evolution was very complex. Nature was conducting experiments in how to be human. All but one 'failed' and that one gave rise to later humans."

So basically there was cross breeding going on for a few million years before we evolved to be humans!!MMMM? It always freaks me out when you go to a zoo etc...and watch the chimps with their tiny 'human' like hands playing with food. I think, 'fook I used to be a chimp', albeit a few million years ago. ;-D
A chimps life seems ok, swing around in the trees, eat some food, shag, throw shit at passers by!!! Where did the human race go wrong? Why have we made life so complicated?

You have got to ask yourself sometimes 'where is the human race going?'

Will evolution reverse in the future so we become chimps again? Would the country be better run by chimps? Has the human race evolved as much as it can and what are we going to evolve into in the future? What if there was a nuclear war and the human race was wiped out, how would evolution occur again and what would be the results? Somewhere in the Universe there has to be something better than man?Was evolution a success when you look at the state of the world and the human race?

The only conclusion I can reach, is that something drastic needs to happen/change soon or we are heading for some sort of endgame!

Laugh now but one day we'll be in charge!!!! Mwah mwah :-D

LoVe MuSiC HaTe RaCiSm - GiG

Not getting too excited but looks like I could be playing a major part in organising a gig in support of Love Music Hate Racism in November!! Two main bands playing could be Imperial Leisure and Little Comet!!The wheels are in motion!!! V V V excited!! :-Dx

NottingHaM MaRATHON ReLay - Everyman Charity

Team now sorted for the event;

1st leg Chris - 31 mins
2nd leg Me - 32 mins
3rd leg Junior - 40 mins
4th leg Stuart - 35 mins
5th leg Keith - 33 mins

Total projected time - 2hrs 51

No alcohol for at least a day!! Looking forward to it! It should be a fun day...we have raised about £300 so far for EVERYMAN charity. But, I would really like to win the event!!! :-D
Don't be a spanner check your nuts!!!!!!

TiMe AnD LoNeLiNess - eLEaNOR riGby by DouGlas CoupLanD

"I wish modern science would invent a drug that causes time to feel much longer, the way it felt when you were a child. What a great drug. A year would feel like a year, not ten minutes. Your adulthood would feel long and full instead of like some out-of control carnival ride. Who would want a drug like this? Older people, I'd guess-people whose sense of passing time has hit the acceleration pedal.

And I guess they ought to invent a drug capable of the opposite effect. Again, there'd be no immediate sensation, but after a year of the drug you'd say, Wow! Has it been a year already?It feels just like yesterday. Who'd take that drug? Me when I'm lonely. And prisoners with life sentences."
Here's a third notion: what if you had to choose just one of these drugs? which one would you choose?
I would like to be able to choose either when I wanted to..e.g. I hate waiting so I speed up things... When you go on Holiday and it is over so quickly, I would slow it down to make it seem longer! :-D

I guess that alcohol is the closet thing we have to a drug that makes time fly. It makes time fly in the short term, and in the long term it obliterates memory-which is, of course, a way of erasing time!

The reason I love reading Douglas Coupland is because he always, without fail, makes you think of the world we live in. Eleanor Rigby is a story which concerns adult loneliness. An increasing issue in our society today. This is because, "The particular stresses of modern life tend to make people particularly vulnerable to loneliness. Changes in employment practice, a rising divorce rate, and the fact that people can more easily move away, have caused many to suffer the ache of loneliness. A considerable number of people in all age groups now live alone." (Mind 09)

I particularly remember how my Grandad was when my Grandma died. I ended up moving in with him for nearly 2 years before I went to university. I had only been gone 2 months when my mother was advised that he should go into sheltered accomodation. I felt awful but there was nothing I could do. He couldn't cope with being on his own. Even though I was barely in the house, he knew I would be there at some point during the day/night to talk to. The thought that there are people out there who don't talk to people for days on end makes me feel very sad indeed. The move to sheltered accomodation worked well. He had other grumpy old people to talk to.He lived there for nearly 5 years before passing away. I still miss the old git!! :-Dx

The story Behind Elanor Rigby

Like many of McCartney's songs, the melody and first line of the song came to him as he was playing around on his piano. The name that came to him, though, was not Eleanor Rigby but Miss Daisy Hawkins. In 1966, McCartney recalled how he got the idea for his song:

"I was sitting at the piano when I thought of it. The first few bars just came to me, and I got this name in my head... Daisy Hawkins picks up the rice in the church. I don't know why. I couldn't think of much more so I put it away for a day. Then the name Father McCartney came to me, and all the lonely people. But I thought that people would think it was supposed to be about my Dad sitting knitting his socks. Dad's a happy lad. So I went through the telephone book and I got the name McKenzie."

He originally imagined Daisy as a young girl, but anyone who cleaned up in churches would probably be older. If she were older, she might have missed not only the wedding she cleans up after but also her own. Gradually, McCartney developed the theme of the loneliness of old age, morphing his song from the story of a young girl to a elderly woman whose loneliness is worsened by having to clean up after happy couples.

Eleanor rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father mckenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

HoW mAnY Selfs Do We Have?

"If our subconcious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep inside ourselves. It'd be just another feature on our face, like a nose."

How many Identities do we have? or how many selfs?

Your public self
Your private self
Your secret self
Your dark self

We spend so much time in our live's pretending..(our public self) do we really know who we are?Who we want to be? Who we should be? Who we shouldn't be? Who the fuck are we?Just puppets working for a wage and buying into the capitalist dream of owning as much as we can? The more we have makes us more successful? Or does it? Money = Happiness? No money = Unhappiness? The best things in life are free? Money means that I can have what I want? I like asking questions but I wish I had some answers!!! :-Dx

IgNorE tHe IgNoraNt - tHE CRIBS

 

I think the new Cribs album is a 'grower' rather than an 'instant hit' of an album. The songs are more rhythmic and mellow in comparison to Men's Needs which contained more jagged angry anthemic tunes.I have only listened to it about 4 or 5 times but the Johnny Marr's influence is obvious. Just take a listen to the first single taken from the album 'Cheat on Me' and the 'melodic Smithesque' guitar sound is evident.

The Cribs have been one of my favourite bands of the last few years, ever since I heard the track Another Number on Steve Lamacq in 2004.  They have developed as a band over the last three albums with a distinctive sound all of their own. The Wakefield twang in 'Hari Kari' makes me smile. I am not sure that the fans they gained from their last album will enjoy this as much as it isn't as instantaneous but persevere as sometimes the best albums are the ones you need to listen to for a while before loving them. Fave tracks so far, Last Years Snow,City of Bugs and Nothing. Definitely an 8/10 album, maybe a 9!defo a 9 :-Dx

They are also a great live band and I am going to see them tonight in Camden at a tiny venue called the Barfly, it holds about 200 people!!  Advertised as;

The Cribs Play the London Barfly

The Cribs will play a very special and very intimate gig at London's Barfly on the 6th of September to celebrate the release of 'Ignore The Ignorant'.

I haven't been this excited about a gig in ages. I might actually get to meet Johnny Marr... :-D

HanGoVeR 2

 

Is it any wonder that I am such a fat knacker!! 

Approx food intake this morning...

1 pot noodle

1 banana Frijj milkshake

2 cheese on toast

1 slice of cake randomly found in my man bag!!I love the cake!!

washed down with 6 cups of tea.

I have done fook all today bar getting home, uploading a few photos and doing this while listening to the radio. Time to get some real things done!! later!! :-D

Best cure for a hangover...hairy dog (MORE ALCOHOL)...Off to the pub then gig at Rescue Rooms...Ooooooo

W.E.E.K.E.N.D.E.R...... :-D:-D

HanGoVeR

 

The joys of the Hangover!!! 

I quite like the feeling of a hangover especially if I have had a really good night!!

Which I did last night!! I just think fair play I know what's coming, lets have it!!

I am sat at my laptop, cup of tea and a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle!! shit food needs!!

I have taken the liquid ibruprofen x2, these are essential in the long term battle against the hangover and one of the greatest inventions of the last few years in my opinion. Obviously, there is a severity scale in the hangover department. This one is mild-middle, so not too bad. I think I might need another cup of tea and some cheese on toast as well soon! mmm!! Had some fun random discussions last night, that's why I like drinking!! A couple that have stuck in my head are, How the Incredible Hulk/Shrek was going to go to bed with Harry Potter last night after the party!(the mind boggles) The difficulties involved in drunken texting, because no matter how hard you try your texts still look like they came from a drunk person! fact!!The joys of how to control a classroom of students and mythical teachers who are hard as nails but nobody knows why???:-D It is quite difficult to type hungover, especially with 10,000 less brain cells!! I wonder when you run out of brain cells?? I dressed as a vampire last night and hired an amazing cloak, I love it and want to keep it!! I might just spend the next couple of days wearing it around the house before I have to take it back on Monday. I do enjoy a good fancy dress, at first you feel really concious of how you look but then after a few drinks it just seems normal to be talking to a pirate, the Hulk/Shrek, Beetlejuice, Merlin, a werewolf and little Red Riding Hood and a Fairy!! To be fair my costume was pretty shit and dancing in a cloak was coolio but bloody hot!! Need to check the photos but fun was had by everyone. Lizz looked stunning in her outfit and I think she planned a great 21st party!!Lizz you are ace!!:-D  I think I need to write something about being 'happy in the haze of a hangover'.My attention span is short with a hangover and I need another cup of tea and shit food. This is an on going topic anyway!!Parklife on the radio!!:-D laters!!mwah mwah!! :-Dx

PaperLeSS TiCkEts - ThE CriBs

I don't like paperless tickets?????? booooooo

I like to collect my tickets!!!!

Also, why is there booking fees if there is no postal charges etc.??

Well exciteed about the gig though!!! ;-Dx

LeeDs FeStiVaL 2009

Leeds Festival Highlights 2009

The Bands I saw this year!!

RADIOHEAD    (1)

THE MACCABEES     (2)

THE XX’S     (3)

THE PRODIGY     (4)

IAN BROWN     (5)

YEAH YEAH YEAHS

BEAR HANDS

THE CHAPMAN FAMILY

THE JOY FORMIDABLE

FRONTIERS

ENTER SHIKARI

THE COURTENEERS

ARTIC MONKEYS

NOAH AND THE WHALE

THE VIEW

PASSION PIT

CRSYTAL CASTLES

GRAMMATICS

GALLOWS

We managed to cram in 19 bands in two days!! Not Bad!! I enjoyed seeing them all but the top five were Radiohead, The Maccabees, The XX'S, The Prodigy and Ian Brown. A favourite song from each one would be, Idioteque, First Love, Crystalised, Out Of Space and Fools Gold.

I think I will put a mix cd together of all of my favourite tracks from the festival so that when it's pissing down like today I can listen to it on the way to work and think of warm weather, good music, good company and cold beer...I want to go back!!Now please!! :-Dx

F##k oFF big Brother - It's offiCiAlly Shit!!

Big Brother is shit!

What a Shock!!! :-Dx

28th August 2009

We Were Faces ... the This Is England TV series.

All systems now seem to be go for the This Is England spin-off TV series.
Channel 4 is now diverting much of the money saved from its decision to axe Big Brother into new programming and film projects. The This Is England TV series will be one of the first projects to benefit from the newly available funding.

Current articles mention that Shaun, Lol and Woody will be amongst those that return.

The four part series of hour long episodes will be called We Were Faces and will revisit many of the key characters from the film four years later in 1986.
Currently two of the four episodes have been written, and the other two are well underway. Writing duties are being undertaken by Shane and Jack Thorne (Skins, The Scouting Book For Boys).
Warp Films and producer Mark Herbert are onboard, and filming is currently scheduled to get under way next spring.

How exciting is this! Some real TV, not just shit reality bollox!!! About time :-Dx

Le DonK & ScOr-zaY- Zee

The new film by Shane Meadows and Paddy Considine - Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee
The artwork above was done by Bill Edwards for the film's title sequence.
Shane has done some of my favourite films - Dead Man's Shoes, This is England and A Room for Romeo Brass. The Trailers look hilarious!!! October 9th is the official release date...can't wait!!!

SYNOPSIS -
"15 years ago a roadie named Le Donk seemed to have it all. Now his life is shit.
He may have lost a classy girlfriend, but at least he's gained a side-kick and protégé in the shape of UK rapper, Scor-Zay-Zee. With Meadows' fly-on-the-wall film crew in tow, Le Donk decides to take the UK rapper with him on a road trip that he hopes will change their lives forever, and with the help of the Arctic Monkeys, make Scor-Zay-Zee a star."

Excited already!!! CHECK OUT THE VIDEO BAR BELOW :-Dx

NoAh AnD tHe WhALe - The FiRst Days Of SpRiNg

I can't say how talented I think this band are!! February the 4th 2008 is the first time I saw them at the Social in Nottingham...A special night in lots of ways. I had only heard a couple of tracks they had done but watched the vids on youtube and thought, got to see them before they go large!! I wasn't disappointed with the gig, I love to hear violins and trumpets along with guitars! I think they sound amazing live! Anyway, I love the fact they have done a film and an album together..well worth the £14 I spent. The NME gave it a 9/10 and I would agree..for both the concept, the album and the film!! They where on the main stage at Leeds Fest on Saturday afternoon and their sound has become so powerful and orchestral!! I think I need to see them in a small venue again..very soon..buy it and keep original british artists in beer money..you wont be disappointed!!!! :-Dx