Toilet SnOrkELLiNg - iT cOuLd SaVe YouR LiFe

You may think this might be a dangerous thing to do?

A last resort?

Think again fool!!

Toilet Snorkelling may save your life!!

When, you ask?

When your house is on fire!

This guy is using the new breath easy, Toilet Snorkel, formulated to provide a fresh air source during fires.

In most fires, it's the smoke that will get you, and a source of fresh air can be a life saver. So I have invented  a way to snake a snorkel through the zigs and zags of your toilet, so you can breath sewer air instead of smoke. Winner!!

Always remember it's better to eat shit than be dead!!

Duncan Bannatyne loved it and he's full of shit..but ALIVE

dRiNk WhiLe UriNatiNg - G-Lab

Duration: 1 - 2 minutes

Props: Toilet and glass of water

Effect: Wide open

For hundreds of thousands of years the vast majority of humans have lived and died without trying the following experiment. It is, however, both extremely straight forward and extremely interesting.
Like everyone else, you urinate. At other moments you drink. What you do not know is what it feels like to do both at the same time. This experiment will show you.
Have a large glass of water to hand. When you begin to urinate, start drinking. As far as possible, you should try to drink the water straight down, without pausing. You will feel quite bizarre sensations almost immediately. The water you evacuate seems to be synchronised with that entering your mouth. You will then visualize, and above all feel, your body to be organised in a way which until then you had never imagined possible. The water you are drinking seems to exit directly from your bladder. In a few seconds you will feel directly wired, from the throat to urethra, from stomach to bladder - a physiology that is impossible but which you intuit, directly and unquestionably, to be real. Like a cosmic flux!!
This experiment is likely to procure ever new sensations and surprises with each try!!!
What are you waiting for????
More experiments from the G-Lab....Pushing Boundaries Nowhere

LadY MaThs!

Lady Maths!!

(or Man Maths if you are a lady)

This is maths but much more fun unless your a maths boffin and therefore a dull fook!!!

Here How the experiment works!!

Work out the amount of ladies one 'could potentially get jiggy with' (very loose term) on any particular day! ;-D

At the moment I have 5 ladies involved in my life. Involved being another very loose term!

Whether some of them would want to get jiggy with me ever again is another issue.

Ex sex, always fun for 30 mins then you hate each other again!

Let's just say my life is quite complicated!

My mate Sarah at work likes to give them individual nicklnames, abbreviated to

C, L, W, B, X,

Ok, now the maths can begin!

C no chance - rather stab me with blunt knitting needles

L possible with a lot of effort

W possible with a lot of effort 

B no chance - rather tell her counsellor what a c##t I am

X possible

So today would be a 60% day!! ;-D

Not only does 'Lady Maths' keep your mathematical mind active it also helps keep you deluded!!

Another win win experiment from the G-Lab.

Be safe out there..This experiment is not for the married! ;-D

Text ResponSe - One CockorTwo?

This is how this experiment from the G-Lab came about!!

A recent girlfriend sent me a picture message on a Saturday night..There is me thinking a nice shot in her underwear etc...Imagine my disappointment when I opened the message to discover a picture of a floor sander under the title 'stripper'!!! Mmmmmm I thought!! Indeed!! Very funny and witty as anyone that knows me knows that I hate DIY!!! B & Q is the devils work!!

How could I best reply...here is how the experiment goes..

she has only recently began to see the delightful appendage that is my willy...lucky girl I hear you cry..or maybe not?? Anyway, I thought I would test the lady in question by sending her not 1 but a pictures of 4 different willies and ask her to guess which one was mine?? Oh yes...

What would this proove?

1. Had she taken any notice?

2.Is she blind? I thought the white stick was unusual?

2. Is she up for a laugh? At my expense?

3. We all have a mate who can't wait to get it out...if she identified his then he isn't much of a mate!!

4. Would she show it to her mates to discuss? Of Course!!!

5. Has she seen much willy? I put a black one in there to confuse her!!

6. Is she impressed by my Willy? She is human!!! So Probably no?

7. Did she like my plumage? Did I need to trim my 70's man garden?

8. What type of response would I get? Would it make her horny?

9. Would she send me a picture of her lady bits? and some of her mates lady bits?

10. Would she think I was mental..Probably!! Win win all the way!!!

Be safe kids when trying out this experiment as I sent the text to my x because I was so drunk!!

Never use a picture of your own willy in case one of her mates recognises it!! ;-D

This experiment is ideal for either gender..have fun but be safe!!

More experiments from the G-lab to follow!!

'Look at my plumage' said the Cock!!!

OrAnGe PeeL FaNgS

Thought I would make my last teaching session of the week interesting by surprising the students with a cunning experiment...I bet I scare them witless!!! mwah mwah!!! :-D