Dr G
Dear Dr G - I have recently met a new girlfriend. I really like her and I stopped over at her house for the first time not long ago. Everything was going well until we went to the bedroom! We were getting down to business when she got up and walked over to the window sill and closed three small boxes? I asked what they were? She replied that they were the ashes of her dead dogs!! Fluffy, Scruffy and Trevor!! It freaked me out totally!! I mean, why the fook would you call a dog Trevor? I found out later that it was the name of her dead husband. My friends have now started taking the piss and call her the 'Black Widow.' The problem I have, is that I can't get aroused anymore when I am with her because I keep thinking about Trevor!! I really like her, what should I do?
This is a more common problem than you would think!!
There are a few options available;
1) If you really like her, ask her if the dogs would like to watch? Take some toys for them to play with! Take them for a walk together...just think how romantic it would be!!!
2) Ask her if she likes it doggy style..always a bonus!!
3) Snort the ashes as a form of foreplay
4) Replace the ashes with pork scratchings..she will never know until you eat them!!
5) You have to ask yourself what sort of a crazy bitch calls a dog Trevor?
6) Leave the crazy bitch well alone...dead dogs on the window sill!!!
7) How fit is she? Above an 8/10 she can do what the fook she likes no matter how fooking mental it might seem! Always remember..true love never runs smoothly and your mates might take the piss but they can't suck your cock!!(unless you play rugby)
Be safe now!!! A problem shared is a problem doubled!!
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